Running alone is not the problem

I saw well-meaning "advice" in the newspaper this week that women should buddy up for runs for safety.

F*** that.

The problem is not women running alone.

The problem is that drunk-driving teens shouldn't have thrown a beer bottle at me from their speeding car.
The problem is that drivers shouldn't blow through stop signs.
The problem is that a creeper shouldn't have approached my friend, asking for "directions," and tried to lure her into a canyon.

Don't get me wrong.
I love my running buddies.
But I shouldn't *need* them for safety. And I'm tired of being told I should.

Women already, disproportionately, select their routes and running times based on avoiding the threat that someone might harass or attack them. That's a disgraceful commentary on our society. The blame-the-victim (she shouldn't have been running alone, with headphones, before dawn, etc...) mindset puts it on the runner if someone attacks her.

F*** that. She had the right to run.
Alone.
The attacker does not have the right to attack. The harasser does not have the right to harass.

Runner's World has it right on this.
http://www.runnersworld.com/running-while-female

Source: Runner's World Survey

26.2 fundraiser miles

Y'all know I'm not much of a salesperson, so I'm having a hard time with the idea of selling my cause, but I signed up to train for (and run? what was I thinking?!?) 26.2 miles to raise funds for playground repairs and active/fitness education.

If you're inclined to contribute, click the link below:

Donate online to Beth Jarosz running the MCM for RunningBrooke at Razoo

WHAT was I thinking? (And how did I survive?)

So... just learned I have an opportunity to run a fall marathon with a charity group.

In weighing pros/cons, I looked back at my 2006 training plan and wondered WTF I was doing -- and how the hell I survived. Sure, I did a 21 miler, and a couple of 18s... And my time wasn't even awful (4:45) on race day.

But -- and I wish I were kidding about this -- I was running (no joke) 2-3 mile runs, a couple of times a week mid-week, and calling that a training plan!

WHAT WAS I THINKING???

Needless to say, I'm in a much better position now than I was 10 years ago. Is it time for another crack at 26.2?????

Someone please talk me out of this? (Or maybe into it?)

Keep your opinion to yourself

I've been quietly not blogging the last few months because, well, with the standard DC-area 2+ hour round-trip commute, a full-time job, and a toddler, I have time to work, parent, run, eat, and (not) sleep... Any remaining time in the day is needed for other adult things like doing laundry, cooking, reading books, and hanging upside down from the monkey bars at the playground!

But this week I need to write, or my brain won't stop working around this irritation like my tongue works around a popcorn kernel stuck in my teeth.

In my running community, looking for a long run buddy this weekend, I posted this:

Anyone interested in 8-10 miles on Sunday morning, 9:30 pace? I was thinking Saturday, but hubs might be going to yoga, so Sunday works better.

What I received in response was the expected: Sure, but slower/faster/how early/late?
(And yes, I found a running-buddy.)
(And yes... BTW... I'm back to a 9:30 pace for 8+ miles! WOOT!!!!!)

What I also received in response was a totally un-expected:

So, your husband's yoga takes priority over your run?

WTF?!?

I'm actually shaking with anger as I re-type those words.
So passive-aggressive.
So judgmental.
So TOTALLY OFF THE MARK.

The comment makes me angry on many levels.

I don't know - have never run with - the person who made that incredibly intrusive and judgmental comment. She doesn't know me, or that I'm a died-in-the-wool feminist and not the least bit a pushover. She doesn't know my husband, and that he's incredibly supportive and not a bully.

In truth, my spouse gives me hours every weekend to run, shower, and refuel. Aside from an occasional nap, he rarely asks for time to himself. Why WOULDN'T I be respectful and give him some time for his own fitness and health? That sort of give-and-take, my dear critic, is what a healthy relationship looks like.

But WHY SHOULD I EVEN HAVE TO EXPLAIN THAT TO A TOTAL STRANGER?!?!

Why should anyone assume that a wife is being a pushover, instead of being a loving and supportive spouse who's giving back the kind of respect she gets?

Why should anyone assume that a husband is being a pushy asshole, instead of making a rare request for some stress-relief/fitness time?

And WHY... for the love of god... should anyone think it's their right to comment EVEN IF it was an argument in our house. It's our effing house. Keep your passive-aggressive ass out of it!