Keep your opinion to yourself

I've been quietly not blogging the last few months because, well, with the standard DC-area 2+ hour round-trip commute, a full-time job, and a toddler, I have time to work, parent, run, eat, and (not) sleep... Any remaining time in the day is needed for other adult things like doing laundry, cooking, reading books, and hanging upside down from the monkey bars at the playground!

But this week I need to write, or my brain won't stop working around this irritation like my tongue works around a popcorn kernel stuck in my teeth.

In my running community, looking for a long run buddy this weekend, I posted this:

Anyone interested in 8-10 miles on Sunday morning, 9:30 pace? I was thinking Saturday, but hubs might be going to yoga, so Sunday works better.

What I received in response was the expected: Sure, but slower/faster/how early/late?
(And yes, I found a running-buddy.)
(And yes... BTW... I'm back to a 9:30 pace for 8+ miles! WOOT!!!!!)

What I also received in response was a totally un-expected:

So, your husband's yoga takes priority over your run?

WTF?!?

I'm actually shaking with anger as I re-type those words.
So passive-aggressive.
So judgmental.
So TOTALLY OFF THE MARK.

The comment makes me angry on many levels.

I don't know - have never run with - the person who made that incredibly intrusive and judgmental comment. She doesn't know me, or that I'm a died-in-the-wool feminist and not the least bit a pushover. She doesn't know my husband, and that he's incredibly supportive and not a bully.

In truth, my spouse gives me hours every weekend to run, shower, and refuel. Aside from an occasional nap, he rarely asks for time to himself. Why WOULDN'T I be respectful and give him some time for his own fitness and health? That sort of give-and-take, my dear critic, is what a healthy relationship looks like.

But WHY SHOULD I EVEN HAVE TO EXPLAIN THAT TO A TOTAL STRANGER?!?!

Why should anyone assume that a wife is being a pushover, instead of being a loving and supportive spouse who's giving back the kind of respect she gets?

Why should anyone assume that a husband is being a pushy asshole, instead of making a rare request for some stress-relief/fitness time?

And WHY... for the love of god... should anyone think it's their right to comment EVEN IF it was an argument in our house. It's our effing house. Keep your passive-aggressive ass out of it!