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Q. How do crazy runners go through the forest?
A. They take the psycho path.
If you are going to try cross country...
...start with a small country.
John Bingham (on running marathons): "I didn't train all that time just to come here and get it over with as fast as I can."
A school teacher asked a student, "John, will you please conjugate the verb 'to go' for the class?" The kid began, "I go... um... you go... ehmm... he goes..." "How about a little faster?" asks the teacher. And the kid, "Sure! I run, you run, she runs..."
Two hikers on a trail came around the bend to find an enormous brown bear about 75 yards up the trail. The bear spies them and begins running toward them at a full gallop. One hiker drops his backpack, sits down, throws off his boots, and starts lacing up a pair of running shoes. The other hiker says: "What are you doing? You will never outrun that bear!". The first hiker replies: "I don't have to outrun the bear..."
Did you hear about the marathon runner who ran for four hours?
He only moved two feet!
Q. What do runners do when they forget something?
A. They jog their memory
You might be a runner if...
- You think of bad water as an epic race, not a beverage to avoid.
- You think nothing of spending $30 on two pairs of socks, but wonder if you should register early to get the $5 discount off a race entry fee.
- You covet new Mizuno, Newton, or Brooks more than Manolo, Louboutin, or Choo.
- When you ponder the performance-enhancing effects of compression, you’re thinking socks, not car engine parts.
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You might be a runner if (holiday edition)...
- All you want for Christmas is... a Garmin Forerunner 405.
- You avoid gaining weight over the holidays by signing up for a January half marathon.
- The stocking you hang by the chimney is a compression sleeve.
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You might be a runner if (travel edition)...
- You make travel plans around your race schedule.
- You pack more running shorts than business suits for "work travel."
- You don't just sit at the boarding gate - you use the chairs for balance while you stretch your quads.
- There's a stick of Body Glide in your 1 quart ziplock plastic bag.
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