Buddy system (guest post)

One of the reasons I started following the Gourmet Runner is that we seemed to be on the same path, even though we are in totally different locations.

We each moved to a new home at about the same time, and we both tackled the challenge of making new friends while working from home. (In my case, I felt incredibly lonely for the first few months of telecommuting. Now teaching fills that gap and I can't imagine that I ever missed being in an office 5 days a week...but it was a rough transition.)

So I asked Vanessa if she would write a guest post about some of her experiences in adjusting to a new home. Even if you live in the same town you were born in, I think you'll enjoy reading this as much as I did!


When people hear that I was born in South Africa, grew up in Hawaii and lived in Germany, England, New Jersey, Pennsylvania, Hong Kong and now Georgia within my (relatively) short lifespan, they assume I must be a professional at making friends by now.

At least they don't interrupt!

And I am, if you consider statues and other inanimate objects “friends”. People made from stone aside, I do struggle with making new friends when moving to a new location. Living in a small town has made it more of a challenge, as so many residents know one other from as far back as primary school.

Plenty of room for company!

Thankfully, I’m not doomed to a life of solitude. Here are just a few of the ways I have found it easier to meet new people. Keep in mind that running is my hobby - if it’s not yours, mentally cross out running every time you see it and replace it with cycling, knitting, collecting stamps, skydiving - whatever.

1. Find a Running Group: Runners are everywhere. Seriously. Move to a small town with 65 residents and you’ll see at least one crazy old man chasing the cows at dawn for fun. Head to your local running store and inquire about running groups, or tack up a poster and advertise your own.

2. Start a Blog: I know, I know. I’m biased. But it worked for me. Not only have I made a ton of friends who I would consider myself quite close to through the internet, but I’ve had the opportunity to meet many of the in real life. Think of the blog as a friend filter. The only people who will stick around and read on a regular basis are those who have a lot in common with you already.

3. Pretend: No, I don’t mean pretend you have friends. I mean pretend you have confidence. You know those people who get on a bus or elevator and get off with 3 new friends? Pretend you’re like them. Force yourself to say hello to someone or strike up a conversation in line. Worst case scenario? I’ll be honest, it could be embarrassing for, oh - 3 minutes. Best case scenario? New friend.

4. Meetup.com: A friend recently told me about this site and my first reaction was to quickly close the screen so my husband wouldn’t see it. Although it sounds like a dating website, it’s actually a great way to meet people who are interested in different hobbies. In my area, there are a few groups who meet regularly for hiking and trying out new restaurant.

Blogger meetup.

At the end of the day, making friends is easier said than done. I get that. But these suggestions are a great way to get out there and meet new people. Once they meet you they’re bound to want to be your friend, right? Just win them over with that awesome personality of yours and you’re all set.

Have you ever moved to a new place? If so, how did you meet new friends? What advice would you give to someone new in your hometown?

Racing pretty

Each semester in the course I teach, I cover a segment on gender roles. We review the ways in which women's images are photoshopped beyond all reasonableness to make them appear flawless.

Not a pore or blemish to be found!

Beyonce's skin color varies depending on which magazine she's in:

A few of Beyonce's most famous photoshopped images.

Katie Couric drops two dress sizes with the click of a mouse.

Such an amazing weight loss seems almost impossible!
Oh wait. It is impossible. (Image source)

And the most famous Kardashian is touched up to remove all traces of cellulite.

To put the blame where it belongs, I should be clear that these photo edits are often made without the model's knowledge. (PS - Bravo to Kim. When the media started a feeding frenzy over the un-edited photo, Ms. Kardashian replied with: "So what: I have a little cellulite. What curvy girl doesn’t!?")

There are so many examples of photo-editing gone awry that Jezebel.com has a whole "photoshop of horrors" documenting the most egregious cases. Models' waists are trimmed to the point that - if they were real - they'd snap in half in a strong wind storm. Legs are slimmed so that they are thinner than arms (or in some cases, removed completely). Wrinkles vanish. Blemishes are zapped.

And it's not just women. On men, muscles are added. Skin tone is enhanced... Even Brad Pitt is not immune:

Pitt's legs are narrower than his neck in this denim ad!

All of these practices set up an unrealistic ideal that people are supposed to be impossibly thin, tanned (but not too tan), and freckle-free. Certainly we can't be seen with a splotchy red face or sweat-matted hair.

The media is full of these impossible images, so I am never at a loss for fresh content for class.

And just as I was putting together material for this semester, I read The Boring Runner's blog post on his favorite glamour-shot race photos.

So I decided to post one of my most realistic race photos.
Just to set the record straight. This is NOT what I look like after a run:

Source: google.com via Laurie on Pinterest

This IS what I look like at mile 12 of a half marathon:

Not a glamorous photo, to be sure.
In fact, my comment to Hubby was "no way THAT one is going on the blog!"

But it makes me smile. Because I know how hard I worked to get there.
And now that photo is also my electronic middle finger to the photo-editors of the world who think people are "prettier" when they're fake.

Have you seen photoshop horrors?
Do you have any others to share?
Are you proud or embarrassed of your "worst" race photos?