Keep your opinion to yourself

I've been quietly not blogging the last few months because, well, with the standard DC-area 2+ hour round-trip commute, a full-time job, and a toddler, I have time to work, parent, run, eat, and (not) sleep... Any remaining time in the day is needed for other adult things like doing laundry, cooking, reading books, and hanging upside down from the monkey bars at the playground!

But this week I need to write, or my brain won't stop working around this irritation like my tongue works around a popcorn kernel stuck in my teeth.

In my running community, looking for a long run buddy this weekend, I posted this:

Anyone interested in 8-10 miles on Sunday morning, 9:30 pace? I was thinking Saturday, but hubs might be going to yoga, so Sunday works better.

What I received in response was the expected: Sure, but slower/faster/how early/late?
(And yes, I found a running-buddy.)
(And yes... BTW... I'm back to a 9:30 pace for 8+ miles! WOOT!!!!!)

What I also received in response was a totally un-expected:

So, your husband's yoga takes priority over your run?

WTF?!?

I'm actually shaking with anger as I re-type those words.
So passive-aggressive.
So judgmental.
So TOTALLY OFF THE MARK.

The comment makes me angry on many levels.

I don't know - have never run with - the person who made that incredibly intrusive and judgmental comment. She doesn't know me, or that I'm a died-in-the-wool feminist and not the least bit a pushover. She doesn't know my husband, and that he's incredibly supportive and not a bully.

In truth, my spouse gives me hours every weekend to run, shower, and refuel. Aside from an occasional nap, he rarely asks for time to himself. Why WOULDN'T I be respectful and give him some time for his own fitness and health? That sort of give-and-take, my dear critic, is what a healthy relationship looks like.

But WHY SHOULD I EVEN HAVE TO EXPLAIN THAT TO A TOTAL STRANGER?!?!

Why should anyone assume that a wife is being a pushover, instead of being a loving and supportive spouse who's giving back the kind of respect she gets?

Why should anyone assume that a husband is being a pushy asshole, instead of making a rare request for some stress-relief/fitness time?

And WHY... for the love of god... should anyone think it's their right to comment EVEN IF it was an argument in our house. It's our effing house. Keep your passive-aggressive ass out of it!

Having a child changes everything

One of the things veteran parents like to tell expectant parents is that having a kid changes everything. But until you actually have a child, you don't really realize they meant EVERYTHING.

Yesterday, while out on a long run with my foul-weather running buddy (the one person I seem to be able to count on to meet for miles even when it's raining... or snowing...), and she regaled me with a tale of a child-less bride who pitched a fit about a bridesmaid bringing her newborn baby along during the wedding weekend. Because... can't you just leave a 6 week old with a sitter for two days?
(I cannot wait until bridezilla has a child of her own...)

I could fill a ream of paper, in tiny print, with hundreds of examples - big and small - of ways in which kids change your life.
Some change are wonderful. (Toddler laughter is the BEST THING IN THE WORLD.)
Some are annoying. (6:45am is now "sleeping in.")
Some just are. (Playgrounds are my new cross-training gym.)

And some changes are more unexpected than others. Sure plenty of parents go back to running and racing. I know lots of mamas who ran halfs or marathons while pregnant, just after giving birth, and have logged many, MANY training miles pushing jogging strollers.

So the biggest surprise for me, personally, is that I have completely lost my interest in the starting line. Maybe it will return some  day. I'd be surprised if it didn't. I used to live for race mornings! But now I'd rather push a jogging stroller along the waterfront, stop for a coffee, and wrap up at the playground.

My miles now are for fitness and for fun. There are no track workouts. There is only play.

And while that change surprises me, it's not one I'm worried about.

Fresh air

Because I need to share this with someone who will understand...

On Saturday night my son had a bout of the cough-til-you-pukes. We got, literally, no sleep. And to add insult to injury, Hubs hopped in a cab at 4am for a weeklong work trip. 

When kiddo (who finally dozed off at 3am) woke at 7, I made him breakfast then took us both out for some fresh air.

5 miles.
Hills.
Pushing 75 pounds of stroller.
A few trips down the slide at a far-from-home playground.
Finished with breakfast at Whole Foods.

I might pass out at 7pm tonight, and the laundry might never get done, but I'm feeling like a BAMR for getting out there today!

Realizations

One of the things I've realized this week is that while the scale readings are going up (hello 600 calorie daily surplus now that I'm not the sole food source for my kid), my muscle mass is, too. And while last week's yoga challenge suffered several serious interruptions, I worked out Every. Single. Day.

The year is half over, and the fit-in-15 challenge has been a success so far. My goal was to get back into the habit of working out every day, and (clearly) I have.

That said, the whole challenge concept is starting to feel a bit contrived.

Plank-a-day just didn't work for me, but mileage goals and speed-work-each-week goals did. Yoga every day seems like a stretch. (Ha!) But the squat/pushup/plank routine was actually pretty motivating. (It helped that I could guilt my spouse into doing 100 squats with me after our kid fell asleep at night.)

I'm running out of fitness challenges I really want to do (read: am motivated enough to follow through on), so I'm strongly considering switching back to my old style of training: 5-6 days week, with 3 runs and 3 strength/stretch days.

Or maybe I'll just keep repeating the squat/pushup/plank routine every week for the rest of the year...

Stay tuned...

What I wish I knew when I started running as a new mom

Last week a new mom posted a question on the message board of my running group...
As background, the question-asker is a new mom to a baby who was born premature, she's already back at work full-time, she's up for feedings every 2 hours all night long, and her question:

How do I fit running back into my life? Or is that even possible?

Oh... the things I know now that I wish I knew then!

My advice:

Go easy on yourself.

Getting back into running probably is important to you at this new juncture in your life, because it gives you a sense of control, it helps reduce your stress levels, and it gives you a few precious moments of quiet.

But it's also REALLY FREAKIN HARD to get yourself out of bed at 4am when your night of "sleep" was more like a few cat-naps.

So, yes, go easy on yourself.

Take walk breaks when you need to. Accept that a "training schedule" might not be in the cards for you right now. You will eventually feel like a runner again. I promise. But it might take a little longer than you had hoped.

Yes, some mamas are back to marathon-running within months of popping out a child. My advice?

Cheer for those other running mamas!

The success of a marathon-running mama does not diminish your exhaustion, and their distance should not be a yardstick against which you measure your own running performance. Running can be a competitive sport, but running can also be for recreation, catharsis, and fellowship.

Speaking of which...

Find a good running group.

Find a running group filled with other running mamas who understand that running schedules need to fit around nap schedules, school schedules, and swim class schedules. They have also had to deal with diaper blowouts in the running stroller, caring for a sick child the week before their 10k, and staying hydrated while running as a nursing mama.

They will be your support group, and you will forever be thankful for their wisdom and empathy.

Enlist others.

Tell your partner that fitness is important for your health. Feel no guilt about leaving your baby with family, friend, or sitter for an hour. Seriously. Your health is important to your child's health.

Invest in a good running stroller.

There will be times when you need to get outdoors, but no one else is around to watch your baby. There will be times when the weather is so gorgeous you can't imagine keeping your baby indoors, even if you have a partner or sitter available. There will be times when the whole family just wants to get outside for some fresh air.

Buy the good running stroller - you won't regret it.

When your baby is little, sing songs as you huff and puff slowly along. When your baby gets bigger, play I Spy games or have your kiddo bring a book along for the ride.

Cheer yourself on because no matter how quickly or slowly you're chugging along, YOU are running while pushing 100 pounds of baby + equipment. How many people can claim that victory?

Find all of your local playgrounds and map the running routes from home to those playgrounds. Your little one might not want to sit still "for a run" -- but sitting still "to go to the playground" is a different animal entirely.

And last, but not least...

Go easy on yourself.

Seriously. Running is supposed to be fun. Let it be fun.

If you are too hard on yourself, and running becomes a chore, you might give up entirely. Don't do that. Your child will grow out of the up-all-night phase. You'll get your groove back. In the meantime, let running be fun.

You have enough things to worry about as a new parent. Don't add running to the worry list!

Fit(ter) in 15: Week 16

So... in case you're tuning in, last week my kid was down-for-the-count sick.
And then I got it.
Haven't done a plank, squat, sprint, or really any exercise since April 2.
The goal this month was 1 plank each day, but at this point I'm just looking forward to being able to breathe again.

For more posts in this series see Fitter in 15.

Fit(ter) in 15: Week 15

March was speedwork month, and April is shifting gears completely into a hold-that-pose challenge: PLANKS.

The goal: One plank (60 seconds, minimum) each day this month.

How did I do this week?

So yeah.. My kid is sick. Like bronchitis. Up all night. Coughing til he hurls sick.

I can't remember the last time I slept. He's starting to recover (finally) but I'm still running on nothing but caffeine and carbs. Aside from walks with the stroller so we can both get some fresh air, exercise is a distant memory.


For more posts in this series see Fitter in 15.

Fit(ter) in '15! Twelve months of fitness challenges

Every year I set a list of goals. Last year my sole fitness goals were:

...join a local running group, and survive the first year of baby-hood.

(That second one is harder than it sounds.)

This year my baby has grown into a speedy little toddler, and while I fit back into my pre-pregnancy jeans and my biceps are fierce (lifting a 24 pound child a hundred times a day will do that...) my middle is squishier than it needs to be and I ran a measly 225 miles in 2014.

It's just too damned easy to consider an afternoon at the playground a "workout."
I need a kick in the pants.

So... 2015 will be the
Year of the Fitness Challenge
1 year. 12 months. 1 fitness challenge per month.

Before we get started, some stats:
Weight: 143.8 lbs
Fastest* mile: 7:56 (Oct. 2014)
Longest* run: 4.9 miles (Oct. 2014)
Max pull-ups: 3
Max push-ups: 60
Max crunches: ?
Max plank: ?
*In past 6 months

I considered kicking this plan off with plank-a-day, 30-day yoga challenge, or a run-streak, but after querying my friends and running buddies, and spending waaaay too much time on Google, this full-body strength training challenge called to me...

I started yesterday with 60 push ups after a 4.75 mile run.

(Yes... I know the list says 100. And I'm not making excuses. But I did a full workout with 30 walk-down-push-ups on Wednesday. Thursday was supposed to be a rest day!)

Next up... 100 squats!

Last week / this week

Last week...
Sick baby
Work "issues"
Drainage problem in the basement that requires a very costly repair

This week...
Morning sunrise over the Potomac
4.5 mile run with my run group
Gelato with Hubby and Baby


(I think I liked this week better...)

Multitasking to the extreme

This morning...

I ran a mile with my husband. To catch a Metro train.
We combined "couple time" with commuting with a workout.
(Multitasking takes on a whole new meaning with a 6 month old at home.)

PS
Lifting a 20-pound baby overhead, repeatedly, is waaaaay better than any Jillian Michaels workout. My biceps have never been bigger, and JM doesn't giggle with glee after a few reps.