Running Jokes

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Q. How do crazy runners go through the forest?
A. They take the psycho path.

If you are going to try cross country...
...start with a small country.

John Bingham (on running marathons): "I didn't train all that time just to come here and get it over with as fast as I can."

A school teacher asked a student, "John, will you please conjugate the verb 'to go' for the class?" The kid began, "I go... um... you go... ehmm... he goes..." "How about a little faster?" asks the teacher. And the kid, "Sure! I run, you run, she runs..."

Two hikers on a trail came around the bend to find an enormous brown bear about 75 yards up the trail. The bear spies them and begins running toward them at a full gallop. One hiker drops his backpack, sits down, throws off his boots, and starts lacing up a pair of running shoes. The other hiker says: "What are you doing? You will never outrun that bear!". The first hiker replies: "I don't have to outrun the bear..."

Did you hear about the marathon runner who ran for four hours?
He only moved two feet!

Source: via Beth on Pinterest

Q. What do runners do when they forget something?
A. They jog their memory

You might be a runner if... 
  • You think of bad water as an epic race, not a beverage to avoid.
  • You think nothing of spending $30 on two pairs of socks, but wonder if you should register early to get the $5 discount off a race entry fee.
  • You covet new Mizuno, Newton, or Brooks more than Manolo, Louboutin, or Choo.
  • When you ponder the performance-enhancing effects of compression, you’re thinking socks, not car engine parts.
  • (read more)

You might be a runner if (holiday edition)...
  • All you want for Christmas is... a Garmin Forerunner 405.
  • You avoid gaining weight over the holidays by signing up for a January half marathon.
  • The stocking you hang by the chimney is a compression sleeve.
  • (read more)

You might be a runner if (travel edition)...
  • You make travel plans around your race schedule.
  • You pack more running shorts than business suits for "work travel."
  • You don't just sit at the boarding gate - you use the chairs for balance while you stretch your quads.
  • There's a stick of Body Glide in your 1 quart ziplock plastic bag.
  • (read more)